Crummy

 Got lots of info to wrap around my tiny mind. Surgery will be sooner than thought. Visited the radiation Dr. today. Its complicated and I just don't have what it takes to talk about it.  May not update for awhile. I will eventually, but things are just up in the air. Trying to digest this and even put into words what I do understand.  Kinda of crummy.  prayers please love sent send it back .

No more Chemo for awhile...YAY

Update: We are going for radiation next week. Next step in the journey. The spot on his lung was smaller, but the spot on the liver was still there, but he didn't say it was bigger. After the radiation its on to surgery.  They are not sure if they will operate on the liver and lungs or just continue the chemo and radiation after the surgery on his colon. Step by step. I hadn't slept in 2 days after the appointment I just crashed. I may be up all night cleaning. The last few days I let everything slide and was in a trance I guess. Usually it makes me clean everything in site, but not this time. I just sat and stared or walked on the deck. Mike is so glad he has a break from chemo. He did lose a half pound, but this last drug was horrible on him. Plan on bulking him up now while we can. Today was his birthday and he got a wonderful present no chemo for awhile.  I will say what grandma would say....."I just love him so good."    Blessed week my dears

Another udate post

We never went to Barnes they had messed up on the appointment.  They had us down for just an office visit and not a scope.  So we decided to wait till next Tuesday to call we should know more about where we stand and future appointments.  Another big scan Monday.  If all is a go chemo stops for awhile and radiation begins. He looks like he has measles.  We have cream and medication, but it just hurts. His showers are an ordeal. He is a trooper, on a good note his fingernails so far have not fallen off. So next week is maybe a week of change in our routine.

All the kids and grand kids were here for Mother's Day. Honestly it was bitter sweet. Last year mom was in the hospital. When she begged to go home....I took her home and she took her last breath with my cheek next to hers. This little woman was so amazing. She was blind , with heart trouble and was in the middle of everything.  She NEVER used an excuse for anything. If you was going someplace so was she if you were doing something crazy she would help you. Blessed,  I was my dears so blessed to call her momma. I could use her insight right now and her strenght. Faith oh my I don't know how many times the Dr. told us she would not make it.And never phased her. She would say its not over till God says it is. She lived 30 years after they said she give 15 at the most. I need her so badly right now. Sometime I try to think of what she would say to me. Her voice still rings in my ears. I think she would say "Ruthann straighten your self up. You need to do all you can and then trust God. Grandma would say, youngun sometime you walk thru fire and God puts it out in His own time. I think I am the weak link among the women of our family.

Now I am off to my earthy chores and yes I Am thankful I  can still do them.  May your burdens be lighter this week and  you are blessed with belly laugh. hugs sent your way.

Beautiful Day

We have been having the most wonderful weather. I need the sun to shine . Mom's Iris are starting to fade, but still just enough standing tall to make a person smile.

Mike is breaking out on his face and chest , and a little on his back.  His skin is very tender. More chemo Tuesday. Thursday when I take the pump off we will drop it off and head to St. Louis. Mike has a scope to look at the ulcer that bled out when he was in the hospital. Usually Thursday is a really bad day. We will spend the night at Bub's and go to Barnes Friday. He has been doing a few things and sitting on the porch. That is so nice. One of his State Trooper friends stopped by when he was sitting out and caught him up on the patrolman gossip. He has so many friends  that keep in touch, and what a blessing.

I found the most wonderful blog (This little light of mine). She reminded me of how the devil can rob us  and torment us. When you are walking thru life's hard time you sometimes loose sight and you leave yourself wide open for the devil to move in.  Faith my dears Faith.

Love and hopes of all good things sent your way this coming week. Throwing you kisses catch them.