1 Thessalonians 4:11

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business,and to work with your own hands...1 Thessalonians 4:11

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Can you belive all this??????

          Its hard to believe what the past year now going on two has brought all of us.  I often wonder what  my son and husband would say about all this.   My husband  died September 17th 2019 and he was always saying that we should never be without a stockpile of food, water.  We had a supply toilet paper put by long before 2020.    Its like he just knew.  He even had two go bags all prepared.  I never questioned him.  He was still looking out for me after he had passed.

           I  could not crochet, knit or do any handiwork.   It would have helped so much. All during my husband and son's chemo I made countless hats for the cancer center. It has taken me 17 months to pick up my needles.  I am doing hats again.   I have no way to up load pictures.  I have made 6.  Its a start.  It does help.   I never care much for tv and now even less.  I read some, play word games ,and care for my pets.   I am trying to down size and let me tell you it isn't easy. What is precious to you is usually not to your kids. Many things I saved for my kids should have been tossed.  Lesson learned.

          This blogging once again is part of my trying to regain my joy of simple thing that I use to love.  So maybe this is a new start. I need a reason to express myself even if its just for me. Someone stumbles by  below bump.😍



Monday, May 4, 2020

long time

 It's been awhile since I posted. To much has happened to talk about in one sitting as grandma would say. I am alone on the side of the hill. I am not lonely because I feel the presence of my loved ones.

I no longer knit or crochet. I would love to feel the excitement I use to feel on each project. It's just not there. I have so much yarn, and supplies, and no inkling to do anything.   I do read and have a game I play once in awhile. So much has happened that I can't seem to have the joy in things I use to.

I am doing a wonderful Bible study. Reading some historical books. Last but not least I am taking a class on ancient Hebrew.  This class is really eye opening.  I wish I was able to remember everything I am suppose to. I am really enjoying the class.

My animals keep me busy.  I am keeping my grandson's cat it is a maine coon.  What a bruiser. Motley is still my baby and Buddy  the red beagle is my love. I have my son  Michael's cat Bo. So the keep me out of my chair.  Here's asking blessings for you.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

                                           Mike( paw) 1949-2019  my loving husband

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Friday, March 11, 2016

Fire Walking

Well I have no really good news and I cannot bare to type out the bad.  This has been the worse 3 years. Its not getting any better. I have faith and I beg honestly beg for prayer for Michael and Mike.
So I will not update anymore until I have some good news repeating the bad is to much.  I can tell you this when your kid is very sick even when that kid is grown your world stops and you know suffering like you have never know it before. .  So on that note I will say prayers please ....love sent and huigs my dears send them back my way......

Thursday, March 3, 2016

The Story Sad But True

 First I just give you the facts: In the Fall of 2012 I went to the  doctor which what I thought was good health.  I had no medication of any sorts. I discovered I had High blood pressure, diabetes, high chol. I went on a diet took my meds started walking, and things were looking up.  March 11,2013 I had a stroke.  It left me with weakness in my left side. I no longer have the limp or droopy mouth, but I still have problems with my memory, knitting, spelling and typing. While I was in the hospital they could not control my Blood pressure.  I was trying on the phone from my hospital bed to set up appointments for my aging father. He was very ill and his Doctor was not helping him.  (note my mother was blind with dementia and I am an only child)..Less than a month after my stroke dad was in the hospital and we found he had stomach cancer  Mom and dad moved in the house so I could care for them. I do not regret this. Dad had to be put on hospice. He could not bare a nursing home so I moved a hospital bed in my living room, and took care of him.  He died in my arms  October 23 early in the morning. 3 months later I lost my second mom my Aunt Mary then 2 weeks later on Christmas Eve we lost Ky. dad.  Less than a year my mom's heart starts to fail when nothing else can be done she ask to go home from the hospital. Once again I have a parent on hospice. Mom dies with my cheek next to hers May18, 2014.

 While my mom was sick I noticed my husband was not well.  I begged him to go to the Doctor he would not go .  When mom died I got my husband into the Doctor. He had stage 4 colon cancer. We have been fighting this for over a year. I have spent in Barnes Hospital a total of 3 months, sometimes in a cot sometime in the waiting room I did not leave him.  I have learned to change bags of all sorts, give shots, and change wound bandages ,and flush the drain tubes. At one point he had on 7 bags that meant cleaning care ,and flushing, recording, and measuring everything. He was paralized for awhile, and almost died several times.  We have made it this far my the Grace of God.  Next week he has more surgery for his lungs then the 3 round of chemo.  I have been knocked to my knees many times over the past 2 years BUT.

What has about broke me is my son has an inoperable brain tumor. It is vary dangerous where it is.  The Doctors are sending him to Barnes.  The DR. did not even feel he should even bioispy here. So we will not find out for awhile if it is cancer.  Even if it is not, they cannot take it out.  We are in the valley of the unknown now.  We just found out this week.  It is possible I could have a son and husband in surgery at Barnes at the same time.

 I use to pray for those poor people in need and now we are those poor people in need.  Truth when its your kid its the worse helpless feeling in the world hes only 44 with 3 kids and momma can't fix this. I am hitting a new low.  I just feel like nothing matters anymore. It seems everyone I hold the dearest are being taken from me.  I even think sometimes what have I done. I never say why me, but I just don't understand this.  I can't seem to pull myself together anymore, and what difference does anything make anyway.

Yes, I still belive, my faith is strong, but my understanding is gone.

To let you know this as well which I did not mention thinking it was foolish, but a week or so after mom died my 14 year old dog I love beyond what maybe I should have.  He died on my lap.  I am sick of death and bad news. Pray for me please cause my dears I can't hardly pray now. I can still send my love.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Its Going to snow., rain ,sleet ,and be windy. Bring it on.

 Usually my worst nightmare, bad weather and ........appointments usually important ones. Well my peeps the storm is coming and we have no appointments. We do have plenty of meds and food .....and my dears yarn. So bring it on.

Mike is doing fairly well he still has issues with the hook up, but nothing that is not normal.  Its a matter of time till he will get back to normal,  He is getting stronger.  He helped me with the trash and carried some groceries in this week. It just made me so happy to see him getting stronger. Its kind of like a glimpse at normal, Yeah normal.

This week I dropped off hoods for the cancer center. I also finished up my GD's blanket  that nan had started for her.  The border would have been different, but I did not have the yarn I needed and it does look fine in person. Had I had more black I would have made it wider, but honest its a monkey off my back, So very glad I got it done for her.  I thought of mom while making it and sometimes it made me rather melancholy.

I am looking for projects now and enjoying the process.  I am knitting a bib just for a lark.  I can always find homes for bibs. Babies are just cropping up all over....Its Spring I guess.

Well this is my update we are fine and I will call for the next set of appointments tomorrow. So it here we go again.  This should be the last operation.  Hugs my bugs  love sent.


I has a small black border if you can see it.